It's not you, it's me...

There are ways to break off a relationship that are open and honest, and then there are absolute lies that both parties recognize as complete fabrications. One of those is to say this simple phrase, "It's not you, it's me." The person breaking up is trying to let the rejected party down easy. This approach is designed to not destroy the self esteem of the "victim." And it is crap.

Today we heard about the automobile industry from President Obama, and we heard about his plan to save General Motors. Among other things, the CEO was asked (ordered) to step down. Most likely Mr. Rick Wagoner was informed he would be allowed to resign, or he would be fired. The result would be the same of course, just the resume would look different. Fired looks much worse than resigned when applying for a new position.

Call me cynical, but this announcement came right before the President said, "Let me be clear: The United States government has no interest in running GM; we have no intention in running GM." Now I don't know much, but I do know that giving someone the order to terminate their employment sounds like you might be trying to run things. Just saying.

In his news conference, President Obama said, "This is not meant as a criticism of Mr. Wagoner, who has devoted his life to this company; rather it's a recognition that it will take a new vision and new direction to create the GM of the future."

So let me get this straight, you want me out but I really did not do much wrong? Sound like a line of garbage to you? I don't think it passes the smell test.

On January 2, 2001, I went to work expecting a normal day. A few hours later I was home and no longer employed. My boss decided he wanted to move in a different direction and did not feel I had the skills to perform the new duties he wanted someone in my position to have. That was his prerogative, he was the boss. As I look back, I agree with him and he did me a favor. I began to recognize and work on some things that would prepare me for such a position in the future. Certainly, I was not happy, yet never was I bitter. Essentially what he told me was it was not me, it was him and the organization as a whole would be better if someone with a different skill set was in my position. I knew my boss was a man of integrity and I believed he was serious.

Back to today: I don't know Mr. Wagoner at all. He could be a despicable human being and maybe he deserves swift and harsh punishment for poor management at GM. He could be a good man, caught up in a position in which he could not be truly successful. Union contracts and government intervention may have created a situation where Rick Wagoner was destined to fail.
Most likely, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

What I do know is when Mr. Obama said no criticism was meant of Mr. Wagoner, that is a load of crap. This was said at the same time Obama said he did not want to run GM, yet we are firing the CEO. Other changes include new members on its board. So we don't want to run General Motors, but we are going to run GM. That is the same as when someone says, "I don't want to say anything bad about that person, but..."

We have all heard things in our past that just don't add up. This speech from the President today is certainly one that does not add up.

Mr. President, I am having a difficult time believing much of what you say and agreeing with your policies. But don't worry, it's not you, it's me!

Driving and Crying

Like many areas, this county where I live has a few quirks. Many of the people are nice, there are a million churches, it seems everyone has a truck, and I think it is against the law to own an acre and not have at least one abandoned vehicle in your front yard.

The most irritating quirk is the way many of the residents of this quaint mountain county drive. Many of the residents seem to think turn signals were options not included on their specific vehicle. Young or old, regardless of the condition of the car (or truck), the vast majority of drivers simply do not use their turn signal. Now I recognize that some may have a signal that does not work or a turn light could be out. That said, there is absolutely no way this many folks can have trouble with their turn signals all at the same time. What I don't know for sure, but suspect, is drivers that do not signal are in a couple of camps.

• Everybody knows where I live so I don't need to use a signal
• I just got distracted and forgot to turn the signal on
  
• I don't care what the law is, I ain't goin' to use that @#$% signal 'cause I pay taxes, I pay the salary of the PO-lice and if'n they pull me over I aim to remind 'em of that

Now of course I don't know this for sure, and this a great assumption on my part. I figure the first one is the most common. Many folks have lived in the same area for years and years. So they probably think everyone knows they are going to turn. What I would not doubt is that a large percentage of drivers in this county have that third reason in mind. These same folks throw the cellophane from their cigarettes out on the road and refuse to buckle their seat belts. Laws and rules are for others, not them. The second reason is probably the least common, yet most understandable. It is easy to get distracted while talking on your phone, lighting a cigarette, yelling at one of the kids, getting the dog out of the way so you can see and throwing your beer can into the bed of the truck as you drive. Who wouldn't be distracted?

The other type of driver that bothers me is the "Sunday Driver." My parents referred to these drivers when I was a kid. These were the kinds of drivers who often took a drive on Sunday after church. They were in no hurry and had no particular place to go. It seems like a large number of drivers in this area have no concept of "speed limit." I know and understand that the speed limit is supposed to be the maximum speed that can be safely driven on a specific stretch of road. All I am asking is that they approach the speed limit. I mean, like come somewhat close to it. Do you know how infuriating it is to travel 15 miles below the speed limit on a 2 lane road? When you see a line of 37 cars behind you, you probably need to either speed up or get off the road!!! Highway 70 is one of the main arteries for transportation in our area. I understand a loaded 18 wheeler or dump truck or school bus traveling slowly, or when there is poor weather. That makes sense. What does not make sense is a perfectly sunny day, when a driver will decide to mandate the speed everyone else can drive by traveling along at 35 mph in a 55 mph zone in their 1990 Ford Aerostar. Or maybe that does make sense.

The last type of driver I cannot fathom is those on a "Liquor Cycle." For those not from this area, this is a person who normally has lost their license, often from something along the lines of D.U.I., that drives on the main roads on a motorized scooter. Now you might think that losing a license should prevent someone from driving. Not in North Carolina! As long as you are the legal age to drive the scooter, you can drive one. No license is required! At least these folks are trying to get to and from work, however they drive on the main roads, and even when they pull a little closer to the shoulder they still block the road. These scooters don't go very fast. The line of cars stretches miles behind the scooter. But at least they wear a helmet for when those in real automobiles get up real close and knock them into a ditch.

As I said, this area has some positives. The driving is certainly not one of them. And I am certainly glad no one can ever complain about my driving! I learned to drive in Atlanta. If you ain't bumping and drafting you ain't trying.

So while I appreciate the slower pace of the area, I do not like the driving skills exhibited here. Maybe I should open a driving school. Anybody have a car with break pedals on both sides?

And away she goes...

Oh the concentration!

This past Sunday saw a big event in our family. Our little 5 year old girl, Lauren, learned to ride her bike without training wheels. We tried this about a year ago, but she just could not quite get it. This time, off she went and never looked back.

She jumped on, and off she went. Of course there were some tough moments. She had a difficult time learning to turn. Mail boxes, trees, bushes, the occasional parked car all presented challenges-and at times targets. With a little steadying from Dad, and a little encouragement from Amy and Andrew, she got it. Each day since she has ridden more to practice and the improvement is drastic.

Think back to when you were a child. When we start school, we think we have arrived. We think we are finally a "big kid." That said, the biggest moment of our childhood is when the training wheels come off. When we ride with training wheels everyone on the street can hear us coming. There is no way to sneak up on anyone. Those things are loud. The removal of the training wheels opens up a new world. We can ride quietly, can go over hills and through fields. We can learn to do wheelies, jumps, and occasionally win a race. We can feel the wind and experience true freedom.

Inevitably, we fall. Tonight Lauren got a little ambitious. She went up the only hill on our street. Coming down, she got a little wobbly and experienced a crash. Now she has a little "road rash." We think she will live. She is doubtful about that. We know she is tough and will get back on the bike, learn her lesson (hopefully) and ride better next time. Riding a bike is a reflection of life. We learn, fall, get back on and get better. We ride faster, slower, more daring, wreck, but do better next time.

I saw something else when she rode off: I saw the future. Someday, all too soon, she won't want her dad to steady her. She will go off to high school, college and the rest of her life. She is the perfect age right now-full of wonder and zest for life. Lauren is a good girl, smart and frequently laughing. She never meets a stranger and is full of confidence.

My little girl is growing up. I won't be one of those hovering helicopter parents. Those folks really are doing no good for their children. I want my kids to know I am there for them, yet I refuse to be the over protective nightmares we hear about in the news. Just because she is growing up does not mean I have to like it. Sometimes I lay awake at night wondering what will happen with my kids. I am so proud of each of them. They truly are a blessing.

Someday Lauren may look back at this post and be embarrassed. I won't apologize for telling her how proud I am of her. All too soon she will be gone. I want her to have the confidence to face the world and make her place. I just want her to know I will always be willing to steady when she wants it.

Really, there is something in my eye.

Look at her go!

Race Day

On Valentine's Day, Feb. 14, 2009, our family went out to the Black Mountain Valentine's Day 5K. I, Ed, ran the 5K with a couple of guys from our neighborhood. Andrew, the 8 year old, ran the 1 mile fun run. Amy and Lauren went to cheer us on.

Ed Barnes gets a kiss from his daughter, Lauren, before the start of the 10th annual Black Mountain Valentine's Day 5K Saturday afternoon. (2/14/09 Erin Brethauer
from the Asheville Citizen-Times

Let me start by giving a brief description of the setting: Black Mountain is a small town about 15 miles east of Asheville. It is a nice community, and many of the residents enjoy outdoor activities. For a small town run like this, you expect somewhere between 100-200 participants. These folks will come in all shapes and sizes, all fitness levels, and with many different goals and objectives. The times ranged between 15:30 and 50:32 for the 3.1 miles. The route went through a residential area, down a green way trail, on another portion of the green way trail system by the Swannanoa River then back on the original trail back to the finish area.

People participate in events like this for all kinds of reasons. Some are in really good shape and are trying to win a prize. Some, and this includes me, want to test ourselves and see where we are fitness and time wise. Some have decided to do something about their fitness/weight and this event has been a goal for a while and they are determined to finish. I have a lot of respect for those people. They are normally still out of shape, yet they are trying hard and seeing results. My only complaint is often they either start out too fast and lose steam quickly or they position themselves too close to the front and get in the way at the start.

These races usually work the same way. One group starts fast and leaves everyone else behind. This race was no different. The rest of us just plod along trying to push ourselves. I don't race very often so pacing can be difficult. You know a race usually brings some "race day magic" as my friend and running partner Greg Hughes says. This means the race will help you run a bit faster than usual. You don't have the same boredom of day after day, running the same routes with the same people. You have new challenges. Several times yesterday I focused on someone off in the distance and kept working to reel them in. Every time it worked.

The last two people I focused on I passed in the last tenth of a mile. We turned towards the finish line and had a short distance to go. I passed these two men and held them off at the line. When I checked the race results I was so proud to see the last two guys I passed were 55 and 77 years old. This has a way of humbling you.





While I am proud of my results, my son really impressed me. When he told me he wanted to do the fun run, I made him go outside with me and run. He completed 1.2 miles that day and went very slowly doing it. However he did do it, so I signed him up. A couple of times prior to the race he either did a half mile or a full mile on the treadmill, so I knew he could do it. What I was concerned about was pacing. Adults have trouble with this issue and I figured the kids would as well.

Andrew at the start

At the start, several kids took off, sprinting off down the trail. I had coached Andrew to start off slowly, be patient and be ready to speed up at the end. I ran with him, and kept encouraging him. We ran down the half mile, passing a few kids along the way, and also being passed by a few. As we passed the turn around, I began preparing him for the big hill. The one hill on the course is tough for me, I can only imagine what it is like for an 8 year old. He shortened his stride, pumped his arms, gritted his teeth and climbed it like a champ. Then all those kids that passed him before were walking. He slowed a tad, caught his breath and continued churning away. I asked him if he thought he could catch one boy ahead of him. He answered with a small burst of speed and lengthened his stride. Once that kid was passed, Andrew set his sights on a girl that passed him at the start. She was walking as well, and down she went. At that point we could see the finish line.

Andrew finished strong. He was a bit tired, but extremely proud. His time was 10:05. My 8 year old did a 10 minute mile, and never stopped running. I am biased, but I think this is pretty awesome. He has expressed interest in continuing with running and doing some more fun runs. The medal he got may have something to do with that, yet in this time when more and more people are struggling with fitness, I don't care what his reasons are.

We may have more of these types of experiences in the future. Lauren now says she wants to do a fun run as well. So, we may have a couple of fitness hounds on our hands. Maybe they will keep up this enthusiasm and that can only help them in the future.

Let's hope they don't struggle with their weight the way I struggle with mine!

Andrew after his first mile fun run and Chet after his first 5k.

Valentine's Day.

Let me start by saying this: I do not need a special day to tell my wife, "I love you." I should be telling her that every day. Period and end of story.

That said, I recognize that not all men are as incredibly wonderful and thoughtful as I am. Please, hold your applause. And laughter. Seriously though, I do not forget birthdays, anniversaries, the flower that was in our wedding (Stargazer Lilly), our china pattern (Lennox Urban Lights) or other important items. (I asked her to marry me on July 22, 1993. That kind of stuff.)

The problem many men have with Valentine's Day is we are expected to buy something special for someone special in our life. In addition, we are expected to be creative. Chocolate and flowers is not creative. Jewelry is not practical. We just had Christmas! The economy is in the tank. Yet we are expected to spend a ton of money on either flowers that will die, chocolates that will be eaten, jewelry we cannot afford or some creative and exotic vacation get away.

Now I will say, my wife is just not that way. She is practical and understands where we are in life, and she knows that I love her. I actually believe her. Maybe it is all a trap, yet I do believe her.

Let me say, if you are going to buy chocolate, make it good. For the last few years, there have been some commercials from Russel Stover candy where the men say they have to bring home chocolate, and the red heart box is a must. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su4dkqznVTg&feature=related

I am not attacking Russel Stover. I am sure they are fine people. However if you are going to give something to say, "I love you" you may want to choose something of higher quality than a red heart box of chocolate that was produced about 18 months ago. You may as well give M&Ms. The quality is just not there. I will allow that all chocolate probably tastes decent. Some is certainly better. There could be a good reason to give the cheap stuff. You may be a teenager and just don't know better. There could be some traditional reason-like you give it every year since you first became a couple and it brings back warm and fuzzy feelings. Or perhaps her taste buds were removed in a horrible flag pole dare incident back in elementary school.

Many grocery stores have a candy section with a good selection of fine chocolates. There is this fancy thing called the internet where you can find almost anything and can certainly order some nice chocolate. There are many opti0ns.

Or you could just take her to dinner, look deeply into her eyes, let her order what she wants, listen to what she says, open the door for her and spend some quality time together. That is better than any chocolate any day. At least that is what they tell us on Oprah. Not that any self respecting man watches that stuff.

Good luck.

Unions are really great!!!!

While we fuss and fret over a "stimulus" package that our leaders in Washington are dangling to save the free world, other business is occurring. President Obama has issued an executive order requiring union labor for all large-scale federal construction projects. This order restores a rule the Clinton administration created, and was rescinded during the latest Bush administration.

According to the Associated Press, the order requires federal agencies to have all contractors negotiate with union officials, recognize union wages and abide by all collective bargaining agreements.

By most accounts, when unions are involved, construction costs increase between 10 and 20 percent. Apparently there are 84% of American construction workers who have not joined a labor union. So this means those workers are discriminated against.

Why is all of this happening? Is this the Hope and Change Obama's supporters wanted? By the way this is the 4th union friendly executive order signed since Obama took office. He has only been there since January 20!!! Why on this rapidly warming Earth is Obama so interested in union happenings that he has already helped them with 4 executive orders?

In case anyone does not know, to rise to the office of president, a person requires a whole lot of help from a whole lot of sources. I don't know when it began, but Democrats for a number of years have been tied to unions. Remember all the campaign promises about Hope and Change? We were told we would not see politics like we have seen in the past. There would be a break from the types of allegiances and alliances we have observed from Washington D.C. politicians from the past. We need not pretend that Obama is above all this. Are we surprised our current president is tied to unions? Well of course he is. He came from Chicago. For years and years to be successful in politics in Chicago you need to have ties to big labor.

The party that brought you Change and Hope will discriminate against 84% of construction workers in this country. The party that tells you they are working for you will block a large number of hard working Americans from earning a living. This party is going to take the taxes we pay, and reward it to unions. Unions, throughout the years, have used intimidation and fear to get their way. Certainly they did some good in the past, yet we only need look at the American auto industry to see how a union can destroy.

Hope and Change indeed.

Stimulus Plan. Really?

Our politicians are at it again. The same folks who helped us get into the current financial mess are going to get us out. At least that is what they say. We have no money. That is what a deficit is. Spending more than you have. Which means we are borrowing more and more, and the deficit increases. We used up all the Social Security we could borrow from when Clinton was in office, that is how we had a "balanced budget." Then Bush II spent and spent and spent, including money we did not have. Now we have Obama. Surely he will learn from the mistakes of his predecessors and put a stop to frivolous spending projects.

So we have this stimulus package presented by the House. In my opinion, one of the main reasons we have this problem is from ridiculous additions to bills. This current package has funds included for neighborhood stabilization activities, dollars targeted for the National Endowment of the Arts, money to fight Sexually Transmitted Disease, a line item for preventing cigarette smoking, and other non-essential programs will be given aid as well. What happened to fiscal responsibility? That was one of the hallmarks of the Obama campaign. Where has that gone?

The Republicans currently are against this plan. Let's not let them fool us. The only reason they are against this is because the Democrats are in power. They make the same horrible mistakes when they are in control. Why do we let these people continue to make these mistakes? Why do the American people sit by and let these "leaders" and "representatives" continue to spend us into oblivion? Why do we think they can make better decisions this year than last?

In case you do not pay attention, when a politician says he/she brought a certain amount of money into their district, they mean they placed a line item to a bill and it was decided that tax money was better spent going to his/her district. If the good people of Alaska want a statue, they should pay for it, not me. In North Carolina, we received some federal funds for a tea pot museum. So, thanks to all corners of the country. See how ridiculous that is?

We must hold the politicians accountable for their decisions. While I do not think it is the government's responsibility to create jobs, if they say they are going to do that they cannot spend the funds allotted to stop STDs or purchase art.

Just one opinion.