Times, they are a changin'........

This is tough to write. Thursday, December 18 is the last night we have as true residents of North Carolina. Tomorrow night, Amy, Andrew and Lauren will join me in Georgia, and our furniture should come soon after. Certainly we are not the first family to move like this, and will not be the last.  Regardless, this move is tough on our family for so many reasons.  

December 2004 we moved in to the house we currently own. Right about this time of year, we moved to the only home our kids really remember. Andrew turned 4 a few months prior to the move, and Lauren was a few months shy of turning 2. The house interior is starkly different from when we arrived. New carpet, removal of a wall, covering a fire place, painted walls, removing tacky wall paper, changing kitchen and bathroom flooring, tiling bathrooms, and replacing tubs and showers have all taken place. Much labor, money and time has gone into that house. It is great we have a contract, and we look forward to completing the sale to the new owners who appreciate all that has changed. (Side note:  Amy and her dad did most of the alterations)

For our kids, this house was home. We hosted birthday parties and sleep overs. Lauren had multiple paint colors on her bedroom walls, and was planning another  Both kids had good friends that lived on the street, and much time was spent outside riding bicycles, jumping on trampolines, climbing trees, fussing and arguing, and doing all those things kids are supposed to do.

In the community where we lived, we made some great friends, and those will be missed terribly. My running buddy lives across the street, and I will miss our running therapy sessions greatly. Amy made some very good friends at church and work in the area. Relationships are the toughest things to replace.

Tomorrow will be the last time the kids enter their respective schools. There will be tears as Lauren walks down the street after getting off the bus, and likely as we drive out the street for the last time. Andrew has a final exam. He is not real emotional, yet I imagine even he will be sad to see these folks he has gone to school with since kindergarten for one last time.  

To be completely honest, I truly hate moving. Amy has done all the hard work since she has been at the house, and I have been at the new job in Georgia. We are blessed my new employers are providing a moving company to do the truly hard work, yet Amy has packed tons of boxes, and we will need to unpack them once they arrive at our new place. Unpacking and organizing is the bane of my existence. 

The good news is we are closer to family and friends  It is also good to really feel like we will be in the right spot. Transitions are tough, and while Lauren is certain she will never make any new friends, certainly she will. She and Andrew both are extroverts, and will form relationships easily. The hope is they find good kids, like those we are leaving.  

For years the joke has been I have no heart. Freely I admit to not having tons of compassion. Something that does impact my emotions is seeing my little girl cry, especially when my job move to a new town is the reason she is crying. Certainly I do not want to see her sad. Certainly she will recover. Certainly we will have some tough days to follow. Even though she has had a long time to prepare, the time is imminent. She will most likely be very sad, which will mean Amy is very sad. Andrew and I will survive, yet these next few days will be difficult.

This too shall pass. New relationships will be formed.  New traditions and routines will develop. New schools and a new church will all become part of the norm. There is no reason to feel sorry for us. That said, if you can send good thoughts, best wishes, prayers and hopes for a smooth move and transition, we will appreciate that greatly.

Time, they are a changin'.........

Oh Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree...

To be blunt, I do not like Christmas.  That sounds awful, so let me explain.

I do not like the gross over commercialization that has taken over this time of year.  I do not like being asked if I am in the "Christmas Spirit" (whatever that is) as if it is something that should only exist a few days out of the year.  I do not like shoppers brawling over the possibility of saving a few dollars on a toaster and fighting over parking places.  I do not like that many women feel like they can wear the most hideous sweater, scarf or vest this time of year.  I do not like that so many spend so much money on decorations at this time of the year.  I do not like having a tree in my house.  I do not like children's Christmas pageants.  I do not like people getting so worked up when someone says, "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."  

Here is what I like about Christmas:  over 300 prophesies were realized with the birth and subsequent life of one little baby.  The lowest of the low in the form of shepherds were some of the first to be made aware of the birth of Jesus.  Educated men traveled a great distance to bring this child gifts of great value.  I like the way Joseph stood by Mary and went against normal customs when she was suddenly with child.  I really like Titus 3:3-7 which is the whole Gospel message in 5 short verses.  

What I like about Christmas is a little baby came and the world was changed forever.  That baby grew, died and rose again.  Without Christmas we do not have the rest of the story.  This baby we celebrate this time of year has changed me.  He can change your life too.  

Camp is for the Camper.....

Camp is for the camper......

This morning we picked up our daughter from Crestridge Camp for Girls, and then our son from Ridgecrest Camp for Boys.  Thus culminated two weeks of camp for both kids simultaneously.  I am a firm believer in sending kids to camp for a variety of reasons.

When kids go to camp, often they get to experience different roles than at home, school, church, etc.  At camp you are not a middle child or first born or the quiet kid-unless you want to be.  When a camper walks into a cabin he or she enters a whole new world and has the opportunity to excel, lead and express ideas that are often left unsaid because of traditional roles.

For many campers, the only time they are not completely under the supervision of a parent or other relative is when they visit a "sleep away camp."  Imagine the joy a child experiences when he/she finally gets to make a decision without a parent dictating every action.  While most camps have responsible adults present in the form of staff, if a camper decides to wear mismatched clothes, the same shirt every day or go without socks that opportunity arises.  Campers are not required to brush their hair, often get to stay up way after bed time and sometimes they get to run with sticks or throw rocks!  No helicopter parent is going to oversee or determine each and every thing that child does or says. 

Camp is a place for new experiences.  Outdoor themed camps often give opportunities to try things like rafting, horse back riding, rock climbing, zip lines and other fun and exciting adventure activities.  There are chances to go skating at mid night, see a shooting star, play in the rain, experience a camp fire and make new friends.  Many friendships and romantic relationships started in a camp environment and have stood the test of time! 

For my son, each year he attends a gender specific camp, he gets the opportunity to simply be a boy.  Nobody cares too much if they skip stones on a lake, "accidentally" tip over a canoe, skip a night brushing teeth (or 2 or 3 or.....) or makes interesting and amazing noises with his arm pit.  (Not saying he did that, however..)  He has the chance to hang out with some amazing staff that pour out their lives into these developing young men.  For just a little while he gets to absolutely focus on fun, and anything he wants.  We are not there to tell him "No."  He does not have to eat his green beans.  He can decide.

When my daughter attends a girls only camp, she is free from all the gender drama stuff that happens at school and other places.  Self image and esteem can simply flow by being around other young ladies who can simply live live without the stress and strain of trying to impress others.  Certainly there is competitiveness at a girls camp, yet it is not over guys!  She gets the joy and privilege of letting herself concentrate on whatever the theme is, what her cabin is doing and whichever activities she has chosen to focus on that year.  She chooses her friends, eats what she wants and has a great time.  What a life!

While I was at the closing ceremonies of their respective camps, a simple thought occurred to me.   I recognized that again both kids have had a fantastic experience.  This is what happens you you hire the BEST staff you can find, when you PUSH and GUIDE them towards EXCELLENCE, and you simply do not settle for anything LESS.  Because I know the full-time, year round staff at Crestridge and Ridgecrest camps I know their heart.  These folks recognize this simple truth:  parents are spending their hard earned money to send their kids to camp, trusting that these kids will have an amazing camping experience.  I can only speak for my family, yet I can say my kids absolutely love camp.

If I ever had a national platform that I could use to promote anything, I would use that platform to recommend parents send their kids to camp.  (Among other things) I know how simply working at summer camp changed my life.  I would have loved to attend a traditional summer camp, yet we simply did not know about them.  Many good camps exist in many different price ranges.  I can honestly say that the best, and most important money, we spend each year is for our kids to go to camp.  Amazing things happen at camp.  Send your kids to camp.  Family camp is good.  Camp without a parent is even better! 

Camp changes lives.  

The Time for Debate is Over....

This oft repeated quote first came to public light by Vice President Al Gore. The issue at hand was Global Warming. The phrase has been used a number of times since, and by a number of people over a variety of issues. The issue I am writing about is not Global Warming (since named Global Climate Change), but the statement that "The Time for Debate is Over." I believe we have entered an age where true civil debate is simply impossible. It is my opinion that this phrase should now be, "The Time for Civil Debate is Over."

Politics. Sports. Religion. Arts. Food. Color of the sky. Regardless of the topic, it seems civil discussions are impossible. You are allowed a differing opinion on things, yet you risk being called "idiot" or worse when you do. The art of discussion, debate and conversation seems to be lost in our society. When disagreed with, we simply attempt to shout down the differing opinion. We do not engage the disagreeing party in conversation to attempt to discover greater understanding, we simply use bullying tactics to shut the other party down.

Most times when we disagree with others, there is no logical thinking involved. We refuse to admit that many of our thoughts regarding issues are based on emotion and not logic. When someone presents another opinion, or actual facts, we refuse to believe or agree, and attempt to shout them down.

A fantastic example occurred last college basketball season. Since I live in North Carolina, I am surrounded predominately by fans of Duke University and University of North Carolina. Many times, like many other rivalries, there is an undertone of nastiness between these fans. Last season, UNC and Duke played each other 3 times in men's basketball. Duke won twice, UNC won once. The second time Duke won was the ACC tournament championship game. A couple of weeks later, Duke lost before UNC in the NCAA tournament. At that time, tons of folks in the area posted things on Facebook and other places that UNC lasted a game more in the tournament-which was true. The idea was that obviously UNC was better. They made no mention of losing twice to Duke during the season or anything like that. There was simply glee that Duke lost. There was the appearance that there was more joy for many people that a team lost, than there was that the team they cheer for won.

Duke's coach for men's basketball is Mike Krzyzewski. On television you can often read his lips, and he appears to often use foul language. Each season I hear UNC fans criticize him for his language. They say he should be penalized, he should not talk to his players or the refs that way. When their own coach, Roy Williams, used foul language in a press conference, they make no comments. Admittedly, Coach K uses a ton of foul language during games. That said, he has no idea when a television camera is on him, and he should not care about that during the games. If he is interested in that, his teams would probably not win near as many games as they do. Do I think he should talk that way? No. Is that the first time his players have ever heard that language? Absolutely not. Should refs or the Duke administration punish him for his language? You probably only feel that way if you are a fan of UNC. Should Roy Williams be punished for his language at a press conference when he knows cameras are there? Duke fans would say "yes" I imagine, but UNC fans would say, "What language?"

That is what I mean. The other coach/politician/food critic is an idiot. Fans of one team call the fans of another team inbred, stupid, misguided, and guilty of cheating. Other teams are always cheating. There is no way that other teams are simply better than ours. They must be using steroids, paying players or buying them cars. Double standards are a way of life. Fans of our team are smart, good looking, successful or whatever other platitudes you wish to employ. Fans of the other team shop/work at Wal Mart, live in trailers, have mullets and have no teeth.

While common place in European soccer games, fan-on-fan violence has increased recently in the U.S.. Often fueled by alcohol, fans often loudly and rudely cheer for their team. They often shout obscenities and insults at opposing players and fans alike. This frequently leads to violence. Why can't we just cheer our teams without insulting each other? After all, it is a game!

While I commented on Duke/UNC, the same type of behavior can be seen by crazy fans of most teams. Look at a web site that hosts sports internet forums, and you can see all kinds of ignorant, ridiculous posts. When you have some time to waste, check out http://college.scout.com/ and read some posts on the forums of Alabama and Auburn. While bitter rivals, the vitriol is absolutely out of control.

The internet is filled with insults from an "us against the world" mentality. The same is true of those of opposing political views. Find any political issue, and insults from both sides fly. Disagreement is fine, and robust debate can be helpful and beneficial. As a society, we have crossed the line where debate does not seem to be possible. In my opinion, this is fueled by the ability of people to post anonymously. I don't think the same things would be posted if actual names had to be used. That, and we are simply not a civil, polite society any more.

You are welcome to disagree with me if you wish. Do it publicly and I will call you an idiot, and unfriend you on Facebook. After all, the time for debate is over.

Camp is for the camper...

I just watched the official video my son brought home from his session at Ridgecrest Camp for Boys. While he actually finished camp there a couple of weeks ago, I just now had time to watch the video. As I watched it, I enjoyed seeing the excitement in his eyes as he explains certain things. I see great images of games, swimming, canoeing, mountain biking, target shooting, sports and all kinds of fun. Anyone watching it can see the fun. What you can also see, if you look closely, is the incredible example set for the campers by the staff.

Working summer camp staff is not for everyone. Many camp jobs require creativity, energy and unlimited patience. These folks do not sign up to deal with homesickness or trouble makers, yet that comes with the job. Camp staff, at least at Ridgecrest, do a tremendous job of stepping in for parents by taking care of injuries, dealing with upset stomachs and ensuring the campers do not get in too much trouble.

While at camp, the boys take part in skill development in areas such as sports, horse back riding, swimming and crafts. They also do crazy games like Sock War, Gold Rush, Bedlam Ball, Pirates of the Shawnee Nation and a plethora of other fun activities. Field trips dot the schedule for each tribe to places like Sliding Rock, Fun Depot, tubing, white water rafting and other area attractions.

Most importantly, while at camp, campers get to hang out with a staff that care about them. I can think of no better influence on my son when he is away from me. Camp leadership does a tremendous job of selecting those that will serve each summer.

I cannot help, as I watch the video, of thinking back to the years I served on a camp staff. Faces and names and activities flash through my mind. Many of the staff from those days, and even several campers, have become good friends of mine. Those relationships are among the most important in my life, and I am blessed to have met those guys.

To be honest, camp is not cheap. As with many things, a quality camp program can seem expensive. That said, there is no more important use of our funds each year than sending my kids to camp. Our daughter attends for the first time next week, and I know she will have a great time. The value of camp is indescribable. In my mind there is no doubt: Camp Changes Lives. Send your child to camp-you won't regret it.

http://www.ridgecrestcamps.com/index.php

It's only money...

Our federal government is completely out of control. There, I said it. If any one person spent money like those folks in Washington D.C., when there is no more money to spend, that person would be thrown in jail. Or maybe they would be thrown into a mental home. Maybe both would happen. Let's take a fun look back at the past week.

As you may have heard, we nearly had a government shut down last week. That would mean that the money was officially turned off, and all services provided by funds from the federal government would essentially be turned off. I will freely admit that a part of me was OK with that. There is so much spent on so many wasteful projects that I was initially OK with the idea of shutting things down.

Then I started thinking: what about the average Joe who depends on a pay check to pay bills? We heard about our service men/women who would not be paid. We started to hear that workers would be furloughed. We heard that those in Congress would still receive pay checks. I know we can all see the logic in that. (That is dripping sarcasm!)

Of course, at the last minute, a deal was struck to continue things until April 15. I imagine we will hear about this all over again at that time. Yet I started asking a question: why are we in this mess? So after some research, I found out something interesting. The reason for this threatened shut down is there was no budget passed for this fiscal year. When asked why, Charlie Rangel, Democratic Representative from New York, said, "They just did not get around to it." Now let that sink in for a minute.

About the only thing our politicians seem to know how to do really well is spend money. Basically what happens is they take money via taxes, and redistribute it. Those folks did not "get around" to passing a budget? What on Earth were they doing? When pushed on it, Rangle said there was no big uproar from the populace that no budget had been passed. Well, I guess we sort of think they might do what they are supposed to do sometime.

This is no attack on just one party. Why did Republicans not push for a budget a long time ago? If my memory serves, they have been there since January. What have they been doing? Maybe the newly elected ones did not know, yet certainly those that remained in office were aware no budget had been passed. That process takes a while. Certainly they would remember if that process had occurred.

We really need people in Washington who take responsibilities seriously. We need folks who understand we cannot simply spend, spend, spend. It sounds great to cut 30 or 40 billion dollars out of a budget, yet when the deficit is in the trillions, that is pocket change. There must be fiscal responsibility. Somehow, someway, we must get control of this financial mess. An ostrich can put its head in the sand for as long as it wants, yet that does not make the danger go away. Our population must recognize what is going on. When we have to borrow from China, to pay China what we owe them from before, that is a problem. When an individual takes a cash advance from one credit card to pay off one credit card that is a problem. Maybe we need to send all those folks on the finance committee to financial therapy. Or at least get them a good Dave Ramsey book. I will buy one for my representative, how about you?

'Twas the Night Before Christmas...

The Christmas season is supposed to be a time of family gatherings, giving to loved ones (sometimes out of obligation), tacky sweaters, spending money you don't have, traveling, fighting over parking spots and just maybe dusting off your faith. We all know what the meaning of Christmas is intended to be. Much of the Christian faith recognizes and celebrates the birth of Jesus. As for the rest, it can often simply be a hassle. This year, my family had what we call:
A Griswold Christmas.

We took that name from the lovable family featured in the movie Christmas Vacation. If you have not seen the movie, basically everything that can go wrong does. Christmas lights don't work, Clark (Chevy Chase) does not get an expected bonus, both sets of grandparents arrive and create all kinds of havoc (along with Cousin Eddie and his clan) and the cat gets electrocuted. Of course there is more, yet you can probably get the idea.

This year from Christmas Eve on we had our very own Griswold Christmas. The fun started when our lovely 7 year old daughter woke us up at 4 AM throwing up in our room on our carpet. That is after she had already done this in her room on her carpet. I mean, why go to the bathroom when you can spread the love to more carpeted floor?

The next issue was a small one. We had a nail in one of our tires. Do you know how hard it is to find a tire store open on Christmas Eve in small town North Carolina? I did find one, and could proceed to the local YMCA for a workout. What else could go wrong?

The matriarch of our family is the lovely and talented Amy. Along with keeping the kids (and me) in line, she is a licensed professional counselor. Occasionally she has to be on call. This means that when there is an emergency mental health emergency she must go out and do an assessment on the person, decide what the course of action is, and try to get them some help. As I was heading home from my workout, I was receiving a frantic call from Amy that she had to head out to the hospital to do an assessment. She was confident it would not take long. Five hours later she finally got to come home. For a while. More on that later.

This past summer we got a dog. Major has provided a good bit of fun and frivolity to our family. He has also spent more time indoors than any of us really initially imagined or intended. Because he is still pretty young, he often has a lot of energy. Christmas Eve was pretty cold, so he was indoors a good bit of the day. We like to throw a tennis ball and he likes to bring it to us, play a little tug-of-war, then chase it again. Occasionally things get out of hand. One such occasion involved our trusty lap top and a TV stand that is often our computer table. Major ran into the "table" and knocked down the computer. The cover of the lap top disconnected from the main body of the computer. You think that is all? Wait, there's more!

A little while later things seemed to be calming down. The computer had been nursed to health, everyone was calm and at home and we were settling in for the evening. It was time to cook dinner. The aforementioned Amy was just getting things together to prepare dinner. Without any warning, and for no apparent reason, the power went out. The Waffle House is always open, so we decided to make the best of a less than super ideal situation and eat there. The food was fine and the company was, as always, interesting.

We got home from dinner and I decided to make a fire. No electricity, so why not? We got blankets, lit candles and settled in for an unusual night. The fire was soon roaring. We had plenty of light to play some board games and read the Christmas story-a family tradition on Christmas Eve. I noticed smoke was filling the house. I checked. I had opened the damper. I closed and opened it again to no avail. Smoke was pouring into our den. We opened a window and another door-which got some smoke out, but certainly did not help our heating situation.

Finally everything calmed down. Andrew and I were settled on the floor by the fire. Amy and Lauren were on the couch. Everyone was bundled up and warm. We were headed to sleep....and the power came back on! Perfect timing, although we were not complaining.

The rest of the evening was fine. The kids went to bed, we went to bed after setting out a few items for Christmas morning and everything was great. Until 1:30 AM. At that time, Amy received another call from the hospital and had to head back out. She returned right around 5:30 AM. Now that is a great way to spend the early part of Christmas morning!

Christmas Day started out normally. The kids got up and we opened our gifts, we had a good breakfast and everyone was settled in for Christmas Day. Around 9 AM, it began to snow. It snowed, and snowed and snowed. We ended up with about 8 inches that day. Everything looked great and for the first time in my life, I got to play in the snow on Christmas Day.

The only negative about the snow is that it played havoc with our travel plans. The day after Christmas Day we had planned to head up to Virginia and spend some time at a camp hanging out as a family. They had more snow than we did, so we decided to stay home. No big deal, we just spent more time playing in the snow.

By Monday we needed to get out. The roads were mostly clear (as far as we knew) and the kids had money burning a hole in their pocket. So we loaded up and headed off to Asheville. We did some shopping and went to a movie. Upon leaving the movie I noticed that some cars were having a bit of a tough time with some ice on the road we needed to drive. I backed way off the car in front of me to have plenty of room in the event we started sliding. Well the car in front of us (probably 50 feet in front) started sliding and went into the curb. I tried to back off even more, but there was too much ice on the road. We slid into that car at about 4 miles per hour. There was plenty of time to tell everybody to brace themselves and prepare to meet the nice lady in front of us. I probably had time to eat a sandwich we were moving so slowly. After we bumped her, the nice lady in back of us hit us. Man those were nice folks. I sure wish we had not met in that manner!

Well there was very little damage to any one's vehicle, which is good. I still had to pay my insurance deductible, which was bad. Nobody was injured, nobody was mad and everyone could drive away in their own vehicle. All in all, things could be worse.

We figured everything was done. I think it was my son who asked, "What else can go wrong?" Please take my advice-don't ever ask that question.

To be honest, nothing else big occurred. Our lap top seemed to be possessed by a demon. I suppose that will happen when it is 6 or so years old and just got dropped on the floor. At times, it would just shut off. You might be surfing that whole world wide web thing, and then all of a sudden, the computer would just turn off. On New Year's Eve, my lovely bride was conducting some important online business (FACEBOOK) and it happened to her. Now things were not funny any more. So off we went to get a new computer.

Earlier in the week we had checked out a few models. I had done some research and we made plans to get one in the not too distant future. Now things were critical and we had to have one today! We went to a store, got the one we wanted and took it home. In doing so, we stayed far away from that road where we had the accident only a few days before. I know some of you were concerned about that.

After we got home, I began the process of setting this baby up. This was fun! A computer that worked. A screen that is 17" and HD. A blue ray player. After doing a few things, I had to shut it down and restart it. At that point, the problems started. Upon restarting, a message popped up that our battery was not going to work. Our brand new battery on our brand new computer was not accepting a charge. A call to the store to an incredulous store employee (who was probably just waiting to get off work and party I am sure) and we learned we needed to take the computer in to them. That would have to wait until the next day. So I kept installing things of course. We had purchased Microsoft Office. I know you Mac snobs out there are snickering, and that is fine. The code I was provided at the store would not work. So I got to spend a couple of hours on the phone with a nice lad in India who helped me. This computer was great. Until the next day.

My lovely bride took our new home computing device back to the store to check out this whole battery issue. An employee turned it on, and hey lookie there, the battery won't charge?! They got us another computer of the same model, changed the hard drive I had so diligently worked on to the new case, and off she went. After we got the new little one home, I had to install a few things over again. Everything worked great except Office. So back I went to the phone. I called one number, no solution. I called another number, which asked for our code. Then I was told that number was not valid because it had already been used. Of course it had. So I had to call another number. For the first time all day, I spoke to an American. He seemed to care about me. We talked about how frustrated I was to be dealing with this while I should have been closely watching the Rose Bowl. He cared so much, that he transferred me to Jabeeb. I promise you that is his name. For the next 2 and a half hours I talked with Jabeeb. At one point, he got one of his friends on the phone for a conference call. And he did not care that TCU had just scored a touchdown!

Finally-everything worked. And finally, "bad" things stopped happening. I doubt seriously there was some correlation between the computer finally being set up well and the lack of less than super ideal things happening to us. It was a happy coincidence though.

So that is our story. The year we had the Griswold Christmas. Nothing too bad happened, yet it got to be a bit comical. Even though we had a string of stuff occur, we were all in relatively good health, we were together and we managed to have some fun and spend some quality time with each other.

With the new year, we hope we get the "bad" things out during the year instead of having them all in the course of a week or so. Can you plan those things? I would sure like to try!